Breaking News: Metal bends

18 November 2018

Mmm… who wants some delicious, home-made controversy stew this Thanksgiving? The Internet, apparently, as it’s doing what it does best: cooking up the controversy.

Turns out, as YouTuber Zack Nelson discovered, metal bends. Specifically, the metal chassis of the new iPad Pro.

If you dig your thumbs into the back of the tablet and apply enough pressure, you’ll have a fine little arch of an iPad. Which should have been a surprise to no one.

But alas — it was quite the surprise. Following Nelson’s less-than-pretty durability test of the iPad Pro, the Internet exploded. Gone were the days of carrying iPads in our back pockets? Of casually playing iPad tug-of-war? What the heck, Apple?

If, by chance, anyone had sought a balanced, thought-out analysis of the situation, they would have been largely out of luck. The few people who took advantage of common sense were drowned out by the sheer volume of non-common-sense-informed commentary. But who cares about common sense, anyway?

Hopefully, you do, so here are Uluroo’s two cents.

Uluroo is in the “Why are you bending tablets anyway?” camp of this controversy. Because seriously, why are you bending tablets? First, the real-world situations in which you could damage an iPad are so few that any concerns are minute. Second, as YouTuber Quinn Nelson points out, this problem is in no way unique to the iPad Pro.

Also, have you ever tried bending a laptop at its hinge before? Not a pretty sight.

Uluroo agrees with Christina Warren, who in a Twitter thread quotes her own take on the iPhone 6 Bendgate four years ago. In the spirit of keeping the language here PG, Uluroo will paraphrase:

Purposefully bending an iPad doesn’t prove bendgate is real, it proves you’re a [jerk].

Well said.

Now, there is obviously nuance here. As with any tablet, durability is something to consider. If you want an iPad Pro, a case is a worthy investment. But you should have been using a case anyway. The bendiness of the iPad does not mandate any protective action that shouldn’t have happened otherwise.

Just be careful with your $799-plus tablet. As if you wouldn’t have been already.

Please, dear Internet, stop blowing this situation out of proportion. Metal bends! Tablets are metal! Tablets bend! Congratulations, you’ve completed a syllogism!

This shouldn’t have been the shock that it was. Haven’t we been told since we were children that anything is possible if only we try? Well, if you try, you can make things bend.

Welcome to our wonderful world, brought to you by physics.